doo bee doo bee doo

Saturday, June 16, 2007 4:41 PM
:|

11.41pm

with the recent death of xin xian,
i begin to think more abt death
not in the context.
as in
how i'd react were it a closer friend's death.

i'm not a emo person
i don't show my extreme emotions readily.
so i was wondering
if someone else closer to me died
would i have cried out openly
or what.

i'm not made to be that kind of person
maybe its because i don't really interact with emo kids.

i was brought up in tampines
home to my primary school
where all the future gangleaders of tampinese were brought up.
showing emotions equated to weakness
and you'd live to regret it.
you had to learn to be tough.
fast.
i and learnt.
not so fast.
and i regretted a bit heh.
but nvm.

sec one i rubbed shoulders with this emo boy
called sean chia
for one year.
during lessons
and on the bus home.
but we were sec one.
there wasn't much to emo about.
anw, 1 whole year with him.

after that, it was back to business as usual.
sec 2 i had samuel tan wei yi beside me.
wow.
he'd take every single opportunity to niao you
badly.
so i was on my toes throughout
lest i should show any signs of flaws or what.

sec 3 - 4 i had my gung ho class
class of 3D and 4D
who played and joked around
who didn't really need to show our emo side since we were having so much fun.

so yea
no emo me.

i don't know.
its not like i don't care
its just that i'm not brought up to be that kind of person.

maybe i'm just used to sad stuff like this.
my primary school used to have fights going on
ppl getting caned in public
bloodied fights.
and stuff

flutes section always had some infighting going on.
raymond vs himself
dian xiang vs arthur + sherman
kkh vs sherman + me
charles vs sheng heng + everyone else

hai. raymond commited suicide one week after i joined band.
i only remembered he had this long strand of hair on his chin
when he tried me out for flutes.
that's all.
after that,
he was gone.
when mdm leow broke the news to us in lt4 that day
i still rmbed that i didn't know who he was
until sean who was sitting beside me
leaned over and whispered to me
' i reckon he's the flute senior. '
if anyone has a photo of him
please send me kayyy?

so maybe i'm just used to it
or maybe i'm brought up to be like that
or maybe both.
maybe we'll see next time.
when someone else i really know dies
not like i want to
but it'll be interesting to see how i'd react.

hmm.
i don't really know what i'm writing
it doesn't seem to make sense
i'm just writing whatever comes to my head
i'm tired.
i want to sleep
goodNIGHT!

because cider is the elixir of life

The Boy

Clicks

The Past

Tagboard

Thank You