doo bee doo bee doo
Monday, December 01, 2008
4:56 PM
))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
12.53am
rants rants rants rants rants rants rants
rants rants rants rants rants rants rants
rants rants rants rants rants rants rants
rants WARNING: rants
rants rants rants rants rants rants rants
rants rants rants rants rants rants rants
rants rants rants rants rants rants rants
yea this is abt the japan saga.
i feel wronged la.
i don't know how to put it down.
might be a bit messy.
yup basically there's supposed to be this trip
to japan from the 8th to the 19th.
right from the start i alrdy told my mum
that i don't wanna go.
and everytime i do that
she'll just ignore me and push aside the problem
its so childish.
i bring up the topic almost everytime i see her.
and everytime she just dao me.
its been like that for half a year.
right when it was an idea,
i told her dowan to go liao.
she just ignored me.
and went to get tickets
still can get a bit refund that time
still don't want to listen to me.
just dao.
get replacement also don't want.
frustrating la.
i can't get my point across.
its worse than talking to a damn brick wall.
i don't know why i don't want to go either.
i suspect its a matter of principle.
my dad asked me why i don't want to go.
and i just shrugged my shoulders
cause i really don't know.
i just.. don't want to go very badly.
basically it's come down to this.
go or waste $1250 (and that's just the air tickets)
its not so much the amount of money wasted
its how the money's being wasted that's the problem.
my mum's just dragging and dragging and dragging
until now before addressing the problem.
address ge pi la like i've got much of a choice.
its practically blackmail la.
she told my dad only yesterday.
half a year after i first told her that i didn't wanna go.
naturally my dad bao la.
waste like that,
i also will bao la.
yea so he angry.
directed all the blame on me loh.
and my mum just sit there enjoy show.
naturally i'm sad like sai la.
he makes me sound as if
my whole life i've only got one mission
and that's to pile as much misery on them as possible.
(that's what he said btw)
firstly, i'm not such a horrible guy la.
i really don't mean to cause so much trouble.
secondly, they really think i bother meh.
i don't know its so annoying.
i don't like him he hates me.
how're we supposed to go on a family trip?!
my mum wants this to be a "family trip"
like wow very funny
my family is long dead.
my elder sis spends 90% of her time
either out of home or asleep.
mum would rather go
arrange flowers in church the whole day
or playing her tamagotchi or freecell
than to fix the badly leaking toilet at home.
lil sis has to tag along.
and don't even start on my dad.
i haven't spoken to him properly
ever since i went to chinese high
instead of his beloved raffles.
he hates my guts.
most of the time
i hide in my room and do my shit.
our lives are barely connected.
you call this a family.
i just can't stick the family la.
and not at this period of time either.
the timing's horribly wrong.
any other holiday.
last year. or next year. or the year after that.
anything except this dec holidays.
not this dec holidays.
aiyah. part of it's my fault la.
i shouldn't have trusted my mum to pass on the info.
my mum has zero common sense la.
she just keeps dragging the problem.
i don't know she thinks i'll change my mind.
like come on la.
if i haven't changed my mind for half a year
what makes her think i'll change my mind in 5 days.
its so ridiculous.
and pushing the problem to one side isn't helping either.
and ytd after everything
i told her to tell my dad that i was sorry
and that i'd pay him back the money after ns.
not cause i felt guilty.
more like i felt kinda bad.
she still didn't tell him la.
in the end.
i had to swallow my ego
and tell him myself.
like what the shit.
she's totally unreliable la.
argh its so annoying.
they're not treating me like an 18 year old boy la.
hello i'm going to army in a month's time.
and they still treat me like their puppet.
its been like that for so long alrdy.
its so irritating.
they always give me such a situation
that i have to give in
cause i have a conscience
and they exploit that.
i decided to go against them this time.
and i feel really really really miserable
for wasting money like that.
i'd feel better if i threw $1250 down the drain la.
but its really. so annoying.
why can't they just listen to me?
when i say i don't want to go
i mean i don't want to go.
like DUH. they think i'm speaking in riddles meh.
COME ON GET A DAMN BRAIN.
yup been thinking a lot.
today play friendly that time.
i try to shut it out la.
but still a bit distracted la.
used the long 30 bus rides for personal time.
but i don't know.
its no use i still feel damn bad.
maybe its one of the reasons
why i don't want to come home.
i feel bad every moment i'm at home.
i don't know why either.
i still don't think its totally my fault
i just.. feel bad la.
maybe its the lost moral fibre kicking in.
in a nutshell
go or waste money.
i've got my mind set alrdy actually
but i just feel damn damn bad.
yup. stubborn kid.
what to do.
aiyah it doesn't properly convey
what i'm feeling right now.
okay the jumbled up part yes
but other than that. no wth.
but i don't know how to put it in words.
its hard.
):
world's greatest irony
that my only ticket to freedon
is my studies. holyyyyyy.
i'm going to get out of here as fast as i can mannn.
independence!
[edit]
intially i wanted to blog abt ytd and today
to push this post down.
but aiyah again.
no mood today.
tmr i guess.
god this is the first time
sleep hasn't cured my problem.
i owe:
1. bowling, band outing.
2. nie friendly.
because cider is the elixir of life