Sunday, May 24, 2009
1:54 PM the begining of the end.
8.56pm
tmr marks the begining of the end. that's the bright side. if i'm unlucky, i won't be moving anywhere else all the way till i ORD. 8th November 2010. that's abt the only good thing i guess.
this afternoon went to town to catch a movie with sean rujun cheryl star trek. maybe its cause i'm moody maybe its cause i got a super black face maybe its cause i'm not a star trek fanatic (and i have no idea what's it all abt) but i found it like umm okay loh like that loh.
yea but okay la just went out to catch a movie and that's it. cause cheryl had to go work sean had to book in rujun had to go out with mj. so i went home. ahahaha quite pointless but still. (:
mmm i dunno. suddenly on my way home. i just felt. very. very very very troubled. i don't know. its like i've been immersing myself in life, trying to just push everything, all my problems all the way to the back of my mind. don't know don't care. and today, it all came back to me. you can run. but you can't hide. oh well.
and yes. i'm a passive catholic at best. i don't go to church v often. okay make that once in a blue moon. but today, i went home, dumped my bag, and went off to church. i don't know its just that i felt like i needed to share my burdens with someone. not just talk (and whine) to someone, but really just share my problems la. like nah, here, give you half of my problems. and i guess there's only one person who can do that for me.
i guess its just that there's been too many things for me to comprehend. too many things happening at the same time, and all of them not according to plan. i've always thought i could handle anything life throws at me. but today, i.. gave up trying to move on with life alone. there's just so much shit i can handle. so i turn back to religion. just like old times.
its been such a long time since i've went to church like since my bmt days or so. more than 3 months ago. today when i went in i felt really overwhelmed. i felt like i didn't belong there. i felt like a sinner. it sounds really religious and stuff like you only hear from the priest's mouth, but its really what i felt today. overwhelmed.
yea anw enough of the religious stuff the rest i'll keep to myself. anw yea. life sucks atm. as if i haven't had enough to worry abt ALREADY. the army comes and throws me 21 weeks (and possibly the rest of my army life) of armour infantry YAY.
everywhere i go, every forum thread i read, every one i asks, they all say the same thing. good luck. yes apparently its super chiong sua. okay so we don't run beside a tank but they say its so hot and noisy inside the damn tank, ppl are happy when they run beside the tank instead of inside it.
arghhhh. and just when i told the recce ppl during the 46SAR recce interview that i had enough of chiong sua, enough of the shit that's army life. i just wanna serve and screw off.
they say there's a motto there ONCE AN ARMOUR ALWAYS AN ARMOUR. or something like that. even if you down pes, you'll still be stuck there doing shit work. means i'll be stuck at sungei gedong camp for the rest of my ns life. like wth i can't imagine going to cck for the next year and a half. take mrt to cck, still must take bus. and there's only one bus. bus 975. that goes all the way past the crocodile farms and goat farms to sungei gedong.
oh well. life sucks. on the upside, i shall quote the unquotable ken yeow. no matter how tough it is, it will always come to an end. (this was when we were mugging for As) yea although this quote stinks, it makes a lot of sense surprisingly and yea it helps a bit sometimes.
or to refine and make it more quote-worthy, this too shall pass. - quote daryl.
tmr marks the begining of the end. because cider is the elixir of life